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.30.Thou wilt find within thy self a passive dryness, darkness, anguish, contradictions,continual resistance, inward desertions, horrible desolations, continual and strong suggestions,and vehement temptations of the Enemy; finally, thou wilt see thy self so afflicted, that thou wiltnot be able to lift up thy Heart, being full of sorrow and heaviness, nor do the least act of Faith,Hope or Charity.31.Here thou wilt see thy self forlorn and subject to Passions of impatience, anger, rage,swearing, and disordered appetites, seeming to thy self the most miserable Creature, the greatestSinner in the World, the most abhorred of God, deprived and stript of all Vertue, with a pain likethat of Hell, seeing thy self afflicted and desolate, to think that thou hast altogether lost God; thiswill be thy cruel cutting and most bitter torment.32.But though thou shalt see thy self so oppressed, seeming to thy self to be proud,impatient and wrothful; yet these temptations shall lose their force and power upon thee, theyshall have no place in thy Soul, by a secret Vertue, the soveraign Gift of inward Strength, whichrules in the in-most part of it, conquering the most affrightening punishment and pain, and thestrongest temptation.68 Lib.3.The Spiritual Guide33.Keep constant, O blessed Soul, keep constant; for it will not be as thou imaginest, norart thou at any time nearer to God, than in such cases of desertion; for although the Sun is hid inthe Clouds, yet it changes not its place, nor a jot the more loses its brightness.The Lord permitsthis painful desertion in thy Soul, to purge and polish thee, to cleanse thee and dis-robe thee of thyself; and that thou mayest in this manner be all his, and give thy self wholly up to him, as hisinfinite Bounty is intirely given to thee, that thou mayest be his delight; for although thou dostgroan, and lament, and weep, yet he is joyful and glad in the most secret and hidden place of thySoul.CHAP.V.How important and necessary it is, to the interiour Soul, to suffer blindfold this first andSpiritual Martyrdom.34.To the end that the Soul of Earthly may become Heavenly, and may come to that greatestgood of Union with God, it is necessary for it to be purified in the Fire of Tribulation andTemptation: And although it be true, and a known and approved Maxim, That all those that Servethe Lord, must suffer troubles, persecutions and tribulations: yet the happy Souls which areGuided by God, by the secret way of the interiour Walk, and of purgative Contemplation, mustsuffer above all, strong and horrible Temptations and Torments, more bitter than those wherewiththe Martyrs were crowned in the Primitive Church.35.The Martyrs, besides the shortness of their Torment, which hardly endured days, werecomforted, with a clear light and special help, in hope of the near and sure Rewards.But thedesolate Soul that must dye in it self, and put off, and make clean its Heart, seeing it selfabandoned by God, surrounded by temptations, darkness, anguish, affliction, sorrows and rigiddrowths, doth taste of Death every moment in its painful Torment and tremendous Desolation,without feeling the least comfort, with an affliction so great, that the pain of it seems nothing elsebut a Death prolonged, and a continual Martyrdom: wherein with great reason it may be said, thatalthough there be many Martyrs, yet there are few Souls which follow Christ our Lord with Peaceand Resignation in such Torments.36.Then it was men that Martyr d em; and God comforted their Souls: but now it is Godthat afflicts and hides himself; and the Devils, like cruel Executioners, have a thousand ways totorment the Soul and Body, the whole Man being Crucified within and without.37.Thy sorrows will seem to thee insuperable, and thy afflictions past the power ofcomfort, and that Heaven rains no more upon thee: thou wilt feel thy self begirt with griefs, andbesieged with sorrows Internal, from the darkness of thy powers, from the weakness ofdiscourses: strong Temptations will afflict thee, painful distrusts and troublesome scruples; nayLight and Judgment will forsake thee.38.All the Creatures will give thee trouble; spiritual Counsels will bring thee pain; thereading of Books, how holy soever, will not comfort thee, as it used to do: If they speak to theeof Patience, they will exceedingly trouble thee: the fear of losing God through thy unthankfulness69 The Spiritual Guide Lib.3.and want of returns, will torment thee to the Soul; if thou groanest and beggest help of God, thouwill find, instead of comfort, inward reproof and dis-favour; like another Canaanitish Woman, towhom he made no answer at first, and then treated her as the Creature he was speaking of [* hereMolinos is beside his Text.]39.And although at this time the Lord will not abandon thee, because it would beimpossible to live one moment without his help, yet the succour will be so secret that thy Soul willnot know it, nor be capable of hope and consolation; nay, it will seem to be without remedy;suffering, like condemned persons, the pains of Hell, (Circumdederunt me dolores mortis, &pericula inferni invenerunt me, Ps.114) and it would change em, as such, with a violent Death,which would be a great comfort; but (like those) the end of those afflictions and bitternesses willseem impossible.40.But if thou, O blessed Soul, should st know how much thou art beloved and defendedby that Divine Lord, in the midst of thy living torments, thou wouldst find em so sweet, that itwould be necessary that God should work a Miracle, to let thee live.Be constant, O happy Soul,be constant and of good courage; for however intolerable thou art to thy self, yet thou wilt beprotected, inriched, and beloved by that greatest Good, as if he had nothing else to do, than tolead thee to Perfection, by the highest steps of love: and if thou do st not turn away butpreseverest constantly, without leaving off thy undertaking, know, that thou offerest to God themost accepted Sacrifice; so, that if this Lord were capable of pain, he would find no ease till hehas completed this loving Union with thy Soul.41
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