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.She lowered her eyes to her folded hands."Why are you saying this, Kazimain?Nothing has changed between us."She shook her head slowly."No, my love, you have changed."Unable to answer, I merely stared at her, a cold familiar numbness spreading outward from my heart.She raised her head and looked at me, her dark eyes grave and serious."I am sorry, Aidan.""Kazimain, tell me, how have I changed?""Need you ask?""I do ask," I insisted, though in my heart I knew she was right.Without knowing precisely why, I felt like a thief caught in the act of robbery, or a liar discovered in his falsehood."I have observed you these last many days.It is clear to me that you are no longer a man of faith.""I am no longer a Christian, it is true," I told her, "so the difference in our beliefs need not pose any difficulty to our marriage.I love you, Kazimain.""But it is not love we are talking about," she said gently, "it is belief.I see that you are no longer a Christian, not because you renounced your faith in the Christ, but because you have abandoned God.Having forsaken God, you no longer believe in anything.Aidan, it is forbidden for a woman of Islam to marry an infidel.To do so is death."There was nothing but pity in her eyes as she said this; nevertheless, I felt the last small square of solid ground crumbling away beneath my feet."But in Samarra--" "In Samarra it was different," she said sharply;"you were different.I knew you were disappointed, but when I saw you in the mosque I thought you were a man who yet put his trust in God.I know now that you believe in nothing higher than yourself."Lowering her head, she added, half to herself, "I hoped for what cannot be.""Kazimain, please," I said, clinging desperately to the last remaining certainty I possessed.Though it cut me deep, there was no disputing what she said.I had enough honesty left in my heart to recognize the truth when I heard it."We are betrothed no more."I cannot say the strength of her resolve surprised me.She was, after all, the same Sarazen princess who had defied her uncle and risked all to follow us into the desert alone.She had shown herself steadfast in every way, and she demanded no less from the man who would share her life.Sure, a blind man could have seen I was not her equal.Once, perhaps,but no longer."If only we could have stayed in Samarra," I said, accepting the finality of her declaration at last."I would have married you, Kazimain.We would have been happy there."This touched her, I think, for her manner softened towards me, and she stretched a hand to my face."I would have followed you to the end of the earth," she whispered.Then, as if this admission would recoil upon her, she pulled away, straightened, and added, "Even so, it is finished between us."Gathering her robes about her, she lowered the veil once more."I will pray God grants you peace, Aidan."I watched her move away, slender and regal, her head high.She turned as she reached the colonnade and, looking back, called, "Farewell, mylove."Stepping into the shadows, she disappeared, leaving only the faint, lingering scent of oranges and sandalwood in the air.Farewell, Kazimain.I have loved you, and love you still.No other woman will ever own my heart; it is forever yours.I stayed alone in the courtyard for a long time, listening to the sounds of the celebration, and marking the slow progression of the stars overhead.In the end, I did not join the revelry, but remained in the courtyard all night, wretched and alone.Never had I felt so rejected and forsaken.I wept that night for the loss of my faith, no less than for the loss of my love.The last frail cord that bound me to the world and to myself had been severed, and I was now a soul wholly adrift.75when the Logothete of the Treasury arrived at midday the next day, he found a somewhat groggy King Harald surrounded by a ragged band of bleary barbarians, the splintered remains of six wine casks, and an assortment of scattered bones and broken dishes.Upon presentation of the imperial official, the jarl revived wonderfully well and, after graciously offering the logo-there a haunch of congealed pork--which the courtier declined with equal grace--the two sat down to reckon accounts.Naturally, I was required to sit with them so as to translate for Harald.As on similar occasions, I was very soon moved to a kind of awe at the wily Dane's ability to exploit the latent opportunities of anysituation.Armed with a modest array of weapons, he nevertheless used them with impressive skill: now wheedling, now cajoling, then pouting, coaxing, or demanding; he could shout, shaking the rooftrees with anger, yet never lose his temper; he could cozen with a convincing display of good-natured ignorance one moment, and the next perform the most intricate calculations with bewildering speed and accuracy.By the time the logothete departed, he seemed a dazedand broken man.And why not? Harald had triumphed utterly, conceding a few minor battles along the way, while sweeping the field and winning the war.The imperial coffers were lightened by more than sixty thousand silver denarii, making Harald and the few surviving Sea Wolves wealthy men one and all.When, later in the day, the payment arrived--half in silver denarii, and the other half in gold solidi, contained in five stout iron-bound sea boxes, as agreed---I helped Jarl Harald make his mark on the vellum scroll the courtier produced to record the Danes' receipt of the payment.When the official and his men had gone, Harald offered me a share of the wealth.'Take it, Aeddan," he urged."If not for you, none of us would be alive to enjoy our good fortune.Yours is a debt of gratitude we cannot easily repay, but it would cheer me greatly to see you accept it.""Nay, Jarl Harald," I told him."The losses represented by that treasure were yours alone.Give it to the widows and orphans of the men who will not be coming home.""I will provide for them, never fear," the king said."But there is more than enough.Please, take something."Again, I declined, but Harald prevailed on me to take a generous measure of gold solidi to assist myself and the other monks on our return journey.The suggestion made sense, and I accepted the coins, whereupon the Sea King departed saying he would find another way to repay me.He then declared another feast---this one to celebrate their new wealth.The festivities occupied them the rest of the day and far into the night.When the revelry reached a fine, expansive mood, the Danes fell to boasting recklessly of all they would do with the riches they carried home with them
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