[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
. Anyway, I finally gotup the courage to tell Tommy I was gay on my seventeenthbirthday, and he didn t handle it well.At all.Called me everyname in the book, starting with faggot and going downhillfrom there.And that, well.It s not an excuse, but that justmade me drink more. He stopped again, and Aaron leaned forward, bringinghis free hand up to brush back Matt s hair. Matt, you reallydon t have to Matt cut him off. Yeah, I really do, he said. That s justthe first part.I kept right on drinking like crazy.Hell, I was Model Student | Shae Connor47drunk when I finally came out to my parents.It s no wonderthey didn t react well.But it took until the end of that yearbefore I stopped. He paused again, but Aaron didn t interrupt this time.Matt blew out a breath. On New Year s Eve, I went toChicago, supposedly to go to a party some friends werehaving.But instead I snuck into a gay club and got drunk, he said. It wasn t the drunkest I d been, but I was prettywell gone.I&.Shit. He pulled one hand away from Aaron sand scrubbed it through his hair. I let myself get picked upby a college guy.Blew him in the bathroom and then let himfuck me in the backseat of his car in the parking lot. Aaron couldn t help it he flinched.He knew Matt felt it,could feel him drawing away in response. Hey, Aaron said,tightening his grip on Matt s hand, pulling him closer. It sokay.Really.I was just surprised, okay? Matt nodded quickly, didn t look at Aaron. Anyway.Iwoke up the next morning sprawled out across the front seatof my car with my pants in a ball on the floor. He was talking faster, like he needed to get everythingout as quickly as possible, which, Aaron realized, wasprobably exactly what was happening.Pulling off thebandage. I remembered everything, Matt said. That was equalparts curse and blessing, but thank God one of us wassmart enough to use a condom.Once I was awake enough torealize what I d done, I drove straight to the county healthclinic and found out where the nearest AA meeting was.Iwent that day, and every day for the next two weeks before I Model Student | Shae Connor48moved here, and at least once a week since then.And Ihaven t had a drink since that night. He stopped short, his mouth still half-open like he wasabout to say something else.Aaron waited a moment, thenleaned forward again, settling his palm on the side of Matt sface. Hey, he said, waiting until Matt looked at him.Hesmiled softly. Still here. One corner of Matt s mouth crooked up. Yeah, well, therest of the story is that I also haven t had sex since thatnight, he admitted. And while I m being perfectly honest, apart of me freaks out a little whenever I think about doing it.I mean, I wasn t taken advantage of.I know I was drunk, butI d already decided what I was going to do before I hadanything to drink.And it wasn t terrible or anything.But itwas still stupid and wrong, and that was bad enough. Aaron tilted his head. We all do stupid thingssometimes, he said. Most people aren t smart enough tolearn from it.You did.You should be proud of yourself. Matt blushed, and Aaron smiled again, running histhumb across Matt s cheek. I like watching you blush, hemurmured. Is that weird of me? Matt nuzzled his head against Aaron s hand. I don tknow, he whispered in reply. Is it weird that I like that youlike it? Aaron kissed him then, a bare touch of lips andtongues, light and simple.He pulled away gradually, like hedid their first kiss, eyes closed and lips pursed, holding on tothe feeling as long as possible. So. Aaron opened his eyes as Matt spoke again. Anytaxicab confessionals you want to get out? While we re on the Model Student | Shae Connor49subject.I mean, I obviously don t have much experience withit, but I should probably ask you&. He trailed offuncertainly, and Aaron squeezed his hand. Nothing to tell, he said, and Matt s head shot up, hiseyes wide. Yeah, Aaron confirmed. I m a virgin. He said it firmly and with no embarrassment, whichsurprised even him.It was the first time he d said it toanyone who might be in a position to change it, and itturned out to be easier than he thought.Maybe it wasbecause Matt was pretty close to being in the same boat.A slow smile spread across Matt s face. Wow, he said. I m&.I guess shocked is a little strong.Surprised, though.Imean, have you looked at yourself lately? He wrinkled hisnose at Aaron, and Aaron laughed
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]