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.This also serves as a non-verbal invitation for a third person to join in the conversation by standing at the thirdpoint.The two men in Figure 140 are displaying similar status by holding similargestures and posture and the angle formed by their torsos indicates that an impersonalconversation is probably taking place.The formation of the triangle invites a third person of similar status to join the conversation.When a fourth person is accepted intothe group a square will be formed and for a fifth person, either a circle or two triangles.Closed FormationWhen intimacy or privacy is required by two people, the angle formed by theirtorsos decreases from 90 degrees down to 0 degrees.A man wishing to attract a femalepartner uses this ploy, as well as other courtship gestures, when he makes his play forher.Not only does he point his body towards her, but he also closes the distancebetween them as he moves into her intimate zone.To accept his approach, she needonly orient her torso angle to 0 degrees and allow him to enter her territory.Thedistance between two people standing in the closed formation is usually less than that ofthe open formation.In addition to the usual courtship displays, both parties may mirror each other sgestures if they are interested in each other.Like some other courtship gestures, theclosed formation can be used as a non-verbal challenge between people who are hostileto each other (see Figure 106). Inclusion and Exclusion TechniquesBoth the open triangular position and the closed position are used to include orexclude another person from the conversation.Figure 142 shows the triangularformation taken by the first two to show acceptance of the third.When a third person wishes to join two others who are standing in a closed forma-tion, he may be invited to join the conversation only when the other two orient theirtorsos towards a mutual third point to form the triangle.If the third person is notaccepted, the others will hold the closed formation position and turn only their headstowards him or her as a sign of recognition of the third person s presence but thedirection of their torsos shows that he is not invited to remain (Figure 143). Often a conversation among three people may begin in the open triangularformation but eventually two may take the closed formation position to exclude thethird person (Figure 143).This group formation is a clear signal to the third person thathe should leave the group to avoid embarrassment.Seated Body PointingCrossing the knees towards another person is a sign of acceptance or interest in thatperson.If the other person also becomes interested, he or she will cross knees towardsthe first person, as shown in Figure 144.As the two people become more involved witheach other they will begin to copy each other s movements and gestures, as is the casein Figure 144, and a closed formation results that excludes all others, such as the manon the right.The only way in which the man on the right could participate in theconversation would be to move a chair to a position in front of the couple and attempt toform a triangle, or take some other action to break the formation. Interviewing Two PeopleLet us assume that you, person C, are going tointerview or talk to persons A and B, and let us saythat by either choice or circumstance you aresitting in a triangular position at a round table.Letus also assume that person A is very talkative andasks many questions and that person B remains silent throughout.When A asks you a question, how can you answer him and carry on aconversation without making B feel excluded? Use this simple but highly effectiveinclusion technique: when A asks a question, look at him as you begin to answer, thenturn your head towards B, then back to A, then to B again until you make your finalstatement, looking at A (who asked the question) again as you finish your sentence.This technique lets B feel involved in the conversation and is particularly useful if youneed to have B on side with you.Foot PointingNot only do the feet serve as pointers, indicating the direction in which a personwould like to go, but they are also used to point at people who are interesting orattractive.Imagine that you are at a social function and you notice a group of three menand one very attractive woman (Figure 146).The conversation seems to be dominatedby the men and the woman is just listening.Then you notice something interesting - themen all have one foot pointing towards the woman.With this simple non-verbal cue,the men are all telling the woman that they are interested in her.Subconsciously, thewoman sees the foot gestures and is likely to remain with the group for as long as she isreceiving this attention.In Figure 146 she is standing with both feet together in theneutral position and she may eventually point one foot toward the man whom she findsthe most attractive or interesting.You will also notice that she is giving a sidewaysglance to the man who is using the thumbs-in-belt gesture.Seated Body FormationsTake the following situation: you are in a supervisory capacity and are about tocounsel a subordinate whose work performance has been unsatisfactory and erratic.To achieve this objective, you feel that you will need to use direct questions that requiredirect answers and may put the subordinate under pressure.At times you will also needto show the subordinate that you understand his feelings and, from time to time, thatyou agree with his thoughts or actions.How can you non-verbally convey theseattitudes using body formations? Leaving aside interview and questioning techniquesfor these illustrations, consider the following points: (1) The fact that the counsellingsession is in your office and that you are the boss allows you to move from behind yourdesk to the employee s side of the desk (the co-operative position) and still maintainunspoken control.(2) The subordinate should be seated on a chair with fixed legs andno arms, one that forces him to use body gestures and postures that will give you abetter understanding of his attitudes.(3) You should be sitting on a swivel chair witharms, giving you more control and letting you eliminate some of your own giveawaygestures by allowing you to move around.There are three main angle formations that can be used.Like the standing triangular position, the open triangular formation lends aninformal, relaxed attitude to the meeting and is a good position in which to open acounselling session (Figure 147).You can show non-verbal agreement with thesubordinate from this position by copying his movements and gestures.As they do inthe standing position, both torsos point to a third mutual point to form a triangle; thiscan show mutual agreement
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