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.I grit out, "Fine.Have it your way.I m not going to have a bodily struggle with you at thedoor.I m going to go get in the shower, and LOCK the door.By the time I get out, if you re not longgone, I ll call security to cart you out of here.Do you understand me?""Jake please "But I walk back to the bathroom, slam the door loudly and click the lock into place.I standleaning on the sink for a few minutes with my eyes closed.God, just the sight of that woman bringsback the memory of being a weak fifteen year old kid whose control had been completely taken away.I run my hands down my face and then turn to the shower, turning the water up as hot as it ll go.I strip my tux off and leave it in a heap on the floor and step into the scalding water, standing under it as longas I can stand it before stepping out and blotting my red, stinging skin dry.When I step back out of the bathroom, the room is vacated.I lay back on the bed, brieflyconsidering calling Evie, but she said she was going to visit her friend tonight and I don t want tointerrupt her.She said she d call when she got home.I close my eyes, feeling like I just need to restfor a minute.The emotions Lauren brings up in me always make me feel so damn tired.I just want toshut out the world for a little bit.**********I wake up, startled.What the fuck? I bolt upright, scrubbing a hand down my face.I don tthink I even moved from the position I fell into on the bed.The clock says 2:58 a.m.It s almost six inOhio.Evie never called me.Shit! What if something happened to her? That fucking bus.I knew Ishould have insisted on my driver.I m pressing her number on speed dial before I even registerpicking up my phone from the bedside table.My heart is hammering in my chest as her phone rings once, twice, three times.Then, finally,thank God, "Hello." Clearly I woke her up.My heart slows down but now I m pissed.Why didn t shecall me?"Evie."She hesitates."Hey." Something s wrong."Hey, you never called me last night.I would have called you myself but I fell asleep waitingfor you.I just woke up.I was worried."There's silence for a second before she says, "Jake, I did call you.A woman answered yourphone.She said you were in the shower." I can clearly hear the hurt in her voice.I blink, confused fora second before it comes to me.Fucking Lauren!She must have answered my phone before she left my hotel room.Fucked up timing.The liethat falls out of my mouth about having co-workers in my room for drinks and a female co-workeranswering my phone makes me feel shitty because of the ease with which it forms.It s like a reflex tolie immediately when it comes to Lauren.I spent so many years keeping secrets when it comes to her.God, I hate this.I m not ready for Evie to take on this burden, though.I can barely handle seeingLauren for five minutes, and I ve known what happened for years.What is this going to do to Evie?I ask her if she s upset and she s silent for a second."If that's the truth, Jake, then no, I'm notupset.I just don't see why she would pick up your cell phone and then not leave you the message." Iclose my eyes very briefly and grimace, hating myself."I don't know either, but they were drinking so that's my only guess.I'm sorry, baby.You musthave been hurt," I say quietly.I don t even want to think about what I would have done if a man had answered her phonewhile she was in the shower.Just the idea of it makes me feel murderous.She sighs but finally says, "I was confused, Jake.It's okay.If that's what happened then it's notyour fault."I feel relieved but a hot arrow of shame is slithering down my spine.I want so badly to sharethis with her, but know that it is the very thing that ruined us then and may ruin us now.I clear my throat."I miss you.I can't wait to see you.Am I still picking you up after worktonight?""Yes.I'll see you then, okay?""Okay.Evie, I've& I've really missed you.I know it's just been a couple days, but I, I'm justreally looking forward to seeing you." I just want her.Need courses through my veins."Me too, Jake.See you tonight." Her voice is warmer now.I disconnect and roll over, staring at the ceiling, wondering if Evie is going to be able to forgive me when she knows the truth.**********My morning meeting is wrapped up quickly and I m able to get a flight back to Cincinnati thatleaves an hour earlier than my originally scheduled flight.After picking up my car in the long-termlot, I have plenty of time to head to the mall.I m going to buy Evie a laptop.She s going to fight meon it but I m doing it anyway.The need to make her life better in any way I possibly can is burningthrough me.Maybe it s the foresight that my time in her life is temporary.I hope to God not and justthe thought of that sends panic racing to my gut.I d fight it tooth and nail but if that unthinkablescenario does in fact come to pass, I m going to know I did what I could to put her in a position tomake her dreams come true.I drop it off at my condo and then go to pick Evie up at work.I wait for her outside my car andwhen she comes out, she sees me and halts, a beautiful smile spreading over her face.My whole bodyrelaxes.I didn t even realize how tense I was until I saw her.And now my pulse is strong and even inher presence."Hi," she says."Hi," I say back, still goofily grinning.We both burst out laughing and I can t not touch herfor a minute longer.I swoop her up and breathe her in."God, I missed you.I missed your smile and," Istick my nose in the sweet crook of her neck, "your smell, your body against mine at night.""I missed you too," she whispers back."You hungry?""Yeah, starving.""Do you like sushi?" I ask."I do like sushi, but I can't go out dressed in my uniform.""How about if we pick it up to go and bring it home?""Sounds great."I drive to a little sushi place near my condo and run in and pick up dinner while she waits forme in the car.When we walk into my condo, Evie halts, immediately spotting the MacBook I left open onmy dining table with a red bow on top.My heart picks up speed as I watch her take in the computer, finally looking up at me with awary look on her face."Jake, you didn't " she exclaims."Evie," I say, putting my hand up in a stop gesture, "don't say anything until you hear meout.I know your first thought is going to be to say no to accepting this gift but please, just listen."She raises an eyebrow but doesn t say anything
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