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.” He drew me closer, tightening his hold on me.He clearly didn’t want to let me go.“You can’t break my heart if I don’t love you,” I said softly.I wanted him to believe that, whatever else happened.“Or think you do.”“Is there a difference?”“Maybe.I don’t know.” Evan tucked my head against his chest, resting his chin atop my head.“Look, I need to think.And maybe ask my grandmother to see for me.”“Okay.” I would have preferred reassurances, but maybe he had a point.Something was out there.Denying it would serve no purpose.Neither would worrying about it right now.I wanted my worries to go away, at least for a little while, and I knew of one sure way to do that.“Kiss me.”Whatever reservations he had about my feelings for him, he didn’t hesitate a moment in complying with my request.I think the prophecy had him even more rattled than he was willing to admit.Maybe we both needed reassurance, and for now, this was all we had to give.I tilted my face upwards as his lips descended toward mine, capturing my entire being in heated oblivion.It felt as if every cell in my body started humming simultaneously.All at once I was more alive than I had ever been, and all that pent-up energy was focused on one thing: desire.I didn’t want him to be slow or gentle.I needed him.Now.Or I would explode from the inside out.He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue tangle with mine.I responded eagerly, but all the while my fingers were at the waistband of his shorts, fumbling with the button.“Not now,” Evan said, pulling back just enough to speak the words before claiming my mouth once again.“Please.” Was that my voice sounding so desperate? Good thing the kiss stole my pride, albeit temporarily.It would return later, in force, and I would remember that plea, along with the ones that followed.“I want you, Evan.” I said.Evan placed gentle kisses on my cheek, chin, and throat, all the while making little shushing noises.I couldn’t unbutton his shorts.Why couldn’t I unbutton them? Oh, to heck with it.I ran my arms up his torso, just trying to touch every part of him I could, to absorb him into myself.“Sh,” Evan said, “it’s okay.I’ve got you.”Gradually, I surfaced.My heartbeat slowed, my breathing became more regular, and the cells of my body hummed a little less.I still wanted him, though.It hadn’t been the kiss pushing my desire like that.At least, not entirely.But I knew him well enough that I didn’t have to ask why he’d stopped me.If he wasn’t sure of my words of love, then he also wasn’t sure about my desire.“Stop being so noble,” I told him.“Believe me,” he said, “it’s killing me.And the second I find a way to release you from this debt.”He let the thought trail off, but before I had a chance to argue, he kissed me, once again, into blessed oblivion.If only it could have lasted forever, but before long, reality had to intrude.Grace’s prophecy still hung over my head, my mother still awaited my forgiveness, a murderer still needed tracking down, and Evan was still determined to free me of his influence long enough to convince himself of the truth of my feelings.I felt the determination in his reluctance to stake a physical claim, though the effort cost him, and saw it in his eyes when I left that night.I knew what he would do as soon as I was gone, but it didn’t matter.I knew how I felt.And soon enough, he would know it, too.25THE NURSES WEREN’T HAPPY THAT HENRY Wolf and I wanted to visit my mother at the same time when they had a strict policy of one visitor at a time in the ICU, but my family had a way of getting what they wanted.This was no exception.The ICU was dimly lit, with the lights from the parking lot three stories below casting a strange orange glow across my mother’s face.She didn’t look quite real – more like a doll.I sat in the only available chair, scarcely noticing what Mr.Wolf was doing as he unpacked supplies and lit candles for his spell.I’m sure the nurses had not been at all happy about those, either.She looked so still, she might have been dead but for the soft beeping of the monitors offering their reassurances.Gently, I took her fragile right hand in mine, noting idly that our hands were very similar.At least, they would have been if she hadn’t been so underweight.We were so much alike, I thought, except in the one way that apparently mattered to her.This time, she didn’t react to my touch.Then again, I hadn’t offered her angry truths from the depths of my soul.“I assume you know how to put yourself in a trance?” Mr.Wolf asked when he seemed satisfied with his circle of candles.“Yes.” Being able to put oneself in a meditative trance is the first step in being able to find, grasp, and utilize personal magic.“I don’t know what you’ll see,” Mr.Wolf said.“Looking through a person’s mind isn’t exactly like watching a movie, but I think your mother will help you sort out what you find in there.”“Terrific.” I probably sounded like a spoiled child, but I didn’t care in the least.I just wanted to get this over with, find out whatever secrets she might be keeping from me, and then pretend to forgive her.“She’ll also be able to see inside your mind, of course,” Mr.Wolf said as an afterthought.“What?” I nearly choked.“B-but I don’t want her to read my mind!” Instantly, I thought of my newfound love for Evan, but I also thought of all my feelings of inadequacy that I sometimes hinted at, but generally covered with a slightly disconnected exterior and a bit of sarcasm.Then I thought of my plan to pretend to forgive her.She’d never be fooled, if she knew my thoughts.“It’s the only way this can work,” Mr.Wolf said.“You two need to understand one another.”“Couldn’t we just try a body swap like they did in about twenty different movies?” I asked, helplessly.“She’s lying in a coma.Besides, I don’t think you want her in your body when you’re with Evan.”Flushed with embarrassment, I shifted a bit in my chair.“You know about that?”“Of course.That boy’s been wanting you for years.Knew he’d find some way to tempt you.Cleverer than I gave him credit for, saving your life.”“Clever, huh? You make it sound like he planned it.”“Just took advantage of a golden opportunity.” He hesitated then said.“If you marry him, there won’t be a debt no more.Family exception.”I’d just figured out that I loved him, but marriage was a whole different thing.Especially considering the fact that our families hated one another.“I think my Dad would have a heart attack.”Mr.Wolf grinned broadly, showing yellow, crooked teeth.“We’ll just see
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