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.,_Hubert_-_Requiem For A Dream.html (101 of 132)9-4-2005 20:39:44 Hubert Selby Jr.- Requiem for a Dreamshrugged slightly and watched her for a moment out of the corners of their eyes as she walked across theplatform, still muttering, and up the stairs and along the streets holding the babooshka tightly around herhead, slipping and sliding on the frozen streets with her golden shoes, but she continued to thrust herway through the wind and sleet to the Madison Avenue building and up the elevator, unaware of thelooks and stares of the others, into the reception room of the McDick Corp., and she asked the operatorwhy she wasnt putting through her calls that she wanted to see Lyle Russel and the operator stared atSara, her switchboard flashing and buzzing, but she was immobilized for a moment as she looked intothe haggard fece, the sunken eyes, the wet, straggly hair hanging and cling-lng, the heavy wool sockssticking out through her golden shoes, Sara very wobbly, knocking against a wall from time to time asshe continued to talk incoherently and she kept telling her her name and soon the operator recognizedthe name and asked her to sit down for a minute and she rang the new programs department and toldthem who was there and what was happening and soon there were a few people trying to soothe Sara andconvince her that she should go home and she told them she was staying until she was knowing whatshow she was going to be on and the water dripped down her face and clothes and her red dress waswrinkled and wet and her babooshka was sliding down the back of her head and Sara Goldfarb lookedlike a pitiful and soggy bag of misery and despair and she slowly sank into a chair and her tears startedto mingle with the melted sleet that was dripping down her face and falling onto the bodice of her reddress, the gown she wore at Harrys bar mitzvah, and someone got her a cup of hot soup and told her tosip it and held it for her so she could get some warmth in her and a couple of the other girls helped herinto a small office and tried to soothe her and someone called a doctor and soon an ambulance was on itsway and Sara sat crumpled and wet in the chair, sobbing and telling them she/ll give it already to thepoor, I dont want the prizes, itll make somebody happy, I just want to be on the show Im waiting so longto be on with Harry and my grandson, and they tried to explain that only a few people are picked andthen they tried to soothe her by telling her it takes time, maybe soon, but her sobs continued and fromtime to time the hot soup was put to her lips and she sipped some and then the two ambulance attendantscame and looked at her for a moment and talked to her gently and soothingly, asking her if she couldwalk, and she told them she was always walking across the stage, they should see her Harry on the sixoclock news, and when they asked her name one of the girls told them it was Sara Goldfarb and Sarasaid Little Red Riding Hood and Im going jpsy pipsy to the announcer, and she sat back down andsobbed and sobbed and then, in time, quieted slightly and asked them to call Seymour, he should comeget her at the beauty parlor, and the attendants helped her up and slowly walked her to the elevator, anddown to the ambulance, and started the ride through the traffic and weather to Bellevue.Fortunately Sara was unaware of her surroundings, the crowded corridors and rooms, the rushing people,the cries of pain, the moans and groans and pleas did not penetrate her ears and the battered, sickenedand bleeding bodies didnt register on her eyes.Her illness insulated her and she had all she could bear,being isolated in the cocoon of her pain.She was put in a wheelchair as forms were filled in and amedical doctor looked at her briefly and read the report of the ambulance attendants, then sent her topsycho, and she was wheeled down corridors and put on another line and after another hour or so shewas wheeled into a room and a doctor glanced at her briefly, then quickly scanned the forms hangingfrom her wheelchair and he asked her her name and she started to cry and tried to tell him about Harryand the television show and he gave her a new set and she would be on for the poor people and henodded and quickly scribbled a note that she was paranoid schizophrenic and she should be examinedfile:///D|/Documents and Settings/René/Bureaublad/Selby/SELBY_JR.,_Hubert_-_Requiem For A Dream.html (102 of 132)9-4-2005 20:39:44 Hubert Selby Jr.- Requiem for a Dreammore thoroughly, but shock treatment was definitely indicated.He called the attendant and Sara waswheeled to another line.After many more hours Sara was finally wheeled to a bed in the corridor of thelocked ward.Some patients were shuffling around, their expressions blank from heavy doses oftranquilizers, others roamed around in straitjackets and others were strapped in their beds alternatelyscreaming, crying and pleading.Sara lay flat on her back, staring at the ceiling, sobbing from time totime, her own misery protecting her from that of the others.Eventually a young medical resident stood atthe foot of her bed.He was tired and yawned as he read her chart.He frowned when he read thecomments of the admitting doctors and saw their names.He looked at her for a moment, then spoke toher soothingly as he examined her slowly and carefully.Occasionally Sara responded with an answerand he smiled and patted her hand reassuringly.He listened to her chest, then asked her to sit up andlistened to her back and he asked her to raise her arms and bend her fingers and he noticed the fleshhanging from her upper arms and looked again at the hollows around her eyes and her neck and askedher if she had had a heart attack recently.No, its beating very hard.Yes, I noticed, and he continued tosmile at her reassuringly.You look like you lost a lot of weight recently momma.She smiled, Yes, Imwearing my red dress on the television.He listened, patted her hand, called her momma, continuallysmiling and gently and patiently questioned her and eventually she told him about the weight, the doctor,the pills, and many, many times, about Seymour, her Harry and the television
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