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.She tried to sit for a whole show, but couldnt.She got up andpoured another cup of coffee, or stood over the stove while she made a fresh pot, vague thoughts goingthrough her head that some more pills would make it better.She started taking the purple, red andorange pills all at once in the morning, and that made it better for a while and she got her house cleanedin no time at all and was ready to go out and get some sun, but by noon her body was crawling andknotting and LOOK OUT! and she kept waiting for a car to come up on the sidewalk, crashingthrough all the parked cars, and hit her; or maybe something is falling off the roof, or.She didntknow, she didnt know, but something bad.She couldnt sit.She got up and the ladies laughed and kiddedher, Antsy pants Sara, and she walked around thinking thin and zophtic, and even when Ada touched upher hair every couple of weeks she could hardly sit still and kept bouncing up, not knowing ahead offile:///D|/Documents and Settings/René/Bureaublad/Selby/SELBY_JR.,_Hubert_-_Requiem For A Dream.html (78 of 132)9-4-2005 20:39:44 Hubert Selby Jr.- Requiem for a Dreamtime that she was going to, and Ada pushed her down, If you want red hair you got to sit still already.She was losing, she was losing.The dress fit nice.No stuffing.No huffing.She was losing.She shouldbe happy.The red dress fits, her hair is like Rita Hayworth, her gold shoes sparkle and she was going tobe on the television, a dream, a dream, and she should be happy, she should be happy!!!!New York was no longer a summer festival and Harry and Tyrone were hit with a cold shot.Brodycouldnt score any more uncut weight.What! Thas right.He can get weight, but its been cut.Shitman.what happened? Tyrone shrugged and rubbed his head with the palm of his hand, Brody say itlook like somebody trying to stretch out their dope.Stretch it out? Tyrone was still nodding, An if Brodycaint get no uncut weight aint no body gettin it.Harry was staring at the package on the table, We cantdo any more than pay for our own stuff this way.Well, why doan we just stop using???? They stared ateach other for a moment, the implication of Tyrones question slowly, through much resistance, sinkingin and registering.Harry shrugged, Yeah, I guess we/d better.But I guess we may just as well get offnow an cool it tomorrow.Yeah, baggin this shit without a tase is a draig.Harry chuckled, Looks like we/re gonna end up with a supply of milk sugar.Thas okay baby, someday we be gettin us that pound ofpure an we be needin it than.Marion and Alice were all for not using and so all went to sleep that night with a grim resolve.They gotup about noon, smoked a joint with their coffee, feeling good about the fact that they werent giving anythought to, not using, and sat around for a while, watched a little television, talked about maybe eatingsomething, but not really feeling like it, then sort of moped around thinking and talking about thevarious things that should be done that day and making plans for doing them, then watched a little moreTV, and more coffee, and more grass, spending much of the time dabbing at their running eyes andnoses, and by three oclock they realized they were making a big deal out of nothing, that if they reallywanted to stop using they certainly could, they were proving that right then, but it was stupid to panicand to think the world was coming to an end just because they couldnt score for any uncut weight rightnow, so they got back into the spoon.Their noses and eyes cleared up and they listened to music as theyate.A week later they still couldnt score for any uncut weight so they tried again to stop using, but this timethey were back in the spoon before they were dressed.They awoke earlier than usual with panic roilingtheir stomachs, their eyes burning and their noses running, and the magic of the dope healed all their illsimmediately.It wasnt that they couldnt stop using, it was just that this wasnt the time.They had toomuch to do and they werent feeling well.When everything was straightened out they would simply cutthe whole scene loose, but for now theyd take an occasional taste to hang loose.Sara finally developed a morning schedule that enabled her to accomplish a few very necessary things.She took her purple, red and orange pills at once, drank a pot of coffee, then tried on the red dress andgolden shoes and spun around in front of the mirror looking so zophtic and feeling so good and trying toforce from her mind how she would be feeling by noon.She kept the dress on and sat in her viewingchair and watched the shows, no longer spinning the selector, but watching the entire show.She saw theannouncer, the audience, the prizes, and heard the laughter and applause, then forced herself, with mucheffort, to cross the stage to where the announcer was waiting, a big smile on his face, and listened to thefile:///D|/Documents and Settings/René/Bureaublad/Selby/SELBY_JR.,_Hubert_-_Requiem For A Dream.html (79 of 132)9-4-2005 20:39:44 Hubert Selby Jr.- Requiem for a Dreamapplause, but now she couldnt control herself and she left the screen and came into the room and walkedaround the apartment, looking at the old, old furnishings, the lack of light and life, then tried to get backinto the set but couldnt quite make it and eventually seemed to disappear somewhere, Sara wasnt quitesure where, maybe in the back of the set or under the bed, someplace.It puzzled Sara
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