[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.It's the silence around them, as if theywere the only two left in the world.It's his stupid, fragileheart that has always harbored some fleeting hope that it could be like this, he could be who he is and still be acceptedby someone like Eric.As if hearing his name in Vince'sthoughts, Eric prompts, "Vince? You don't have to answer ifyou don't want to.I was just wondering ""Gone." Vince watches Eric's mouth close over the rest ofhis words, and he says it again."Out of here, far away, Idon't know.Someplace that isn't this little hick town.Somewhere real." He laughs, surprising himself, and beforehe knows it, he admits, "New York most likely.I've alreadybeen accepted to a film school up there."He waits for the rebuke.He knows it's coming, his parentsdid the same thing when he suggested one night over dinnerthat he might want to be a film major."What the hell for?" hisdad bellowed, the ignorant fuck."Get a real degree, son,economics or computer science or accounting, something thatcan get you a job.You can go to the movies on the weekend.You don't need to be wasting your time watching them atschool." This is why he hasn't told them about the letter yet.They wouldn't care that he was accepted early because of hisgrades or the short film he did instead of the essay.A wasteof time, that's all his dreams are to them, all he is."Go on,"he tells Eric."You can laugh.I'm used to it by now."A slow smile spreads across Eric's face."Do I look like I'mlaughing to you?" he asks, grinning broadly."Dammit, Vince,that's awesome! A film school? Shit man, you always talkedabout it when we were kids but I didn't know you wereserious." Vince feels his face flush and he ducks his head,unused to such attention.He could learn to like it."You're inalready?" Eric asks.When Vince nods, he whistles, impressed."That fucking rocks."On scholarship, too, Vince thinks, but he keeps that bit tohimself.No need to rub it in Eric's reaction is satisfyingenough.Why can't he have more of this in his life? Moreacceptance, more encouragement? More Eric, his mindwhispers, but he stifles that voice real quick."It gets me outof here, at least," Vince says."My parents don't really knowyet, so if you could maybe keep it to yourself? It's not exactlysomething my dad's going to be proud of.""No, he won't," Eric agrees.He looks at Vince withsomething akin to awe and laughs.Then Eric claps him on theback, an unconscious gesture that's gone before he can savor it."Film school," Eric murmurs."You better remember mewhen you get your first Academy Award."Vince wonders how Eric thinks he could possibly forgetsomeone like him."It's just college " he starts."It's film school," Eric says."Next thing you know, StevenSpielberg will call to run script changes by you.George Lucaswill want you to do the next Star Wars.Martin Scorsese ""Eric," Vince warns.He forces a laugh he wasn't even thisexcited himself when he got the acceptance letter."It's not allthat, trust me."Eric leans over and pokes Vince's chest with one finger.The touch barrels through his clothing and into his skin."Notyet," Eric whispers.He's close again, too close, and Vince hasto stare at his lashes to keep from tumbling into those eyes."I know you, Vince.You'll get there.You'll see."The words are just shapes his mouth makes, meaningless.He could be reading the nutritional content on a box of cereal,Vince wouldn't know, wouldn't care, because Eric has placedthe flat of his hand against his chest as if to feel hisheartbeat.His fingers slip negligently into the front of Vince'scoat and he's staring at him again, almost willing him tospeak.Vince doesn't dare.Lower, he thinks, and if he saysanything, it'll be that and he'll hate himself for it.Just a littlelower, Eric, if you want to feel my heart.It throbs in hiscrotch and his mind is flooded with images bruises likeflowers on this tanned skin, these lips flecked with blood, thislow voice begging to be fucked again and harder and again.By him.He could be gentle, yes, but only after all his rageand lust have been beaten out into this boy.Eric watches him, almost smiling, almost, like he's waitingfor Vince to do something first.Here's the part where theykiss, right? In the movies, and in books.Here's where Ericleans a little closer and Vince meets him halfway, and hefinally gets to plunge his hands into those curls.If this were aperfect world, and he a perfect boy.Then he wouldn't have this hurt in him.He wouldn't look atEric and still see a gawkish kid laughing back.He wouldn'thear that laughter, it wouldn't exist, Eric would have nothingto laugh at if Vince were perfect.Which he's not.He only hasto look at this golden boy beside him to remember that.With great difficulty he gets a hand under Eric's.His skin burns where they touch
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]