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.Jaxon loweredthe window and thanked the driver who approached us. We re okay, mate, he said. Thanks. You need gas? Jaxon checked his gauge.The tank was three-quarters full.www.total-e-bound.com FULL A.J.Llewellyn 131 Sure, why not? Jaxon grinned at me. Take the gifts wherever they come from. I ll remember that. We looked at each other and laughed.* * * *My father s home in Summerland was an original 1910 craftsman home situated onseveral acres of land with trees, a small pond and tons of jungle gyms for his kids.It wasconsidered a relic by California standards.We pulled into the driveway of the home, heavily-laden jacaranda trees dropping blossoms onto the car even as we stepped away. This is nice. Jaxon s admiring glance took it all in. Dad was smart.As each neighbour moved, he bought up their houses, knocked emdown and made one huge piece of land. Very smart. We knocked on the door, and my stepmother answered it.Like I said before, I get alongwith her but she is huge.So are my dad and their two pre-teens. Oh my God, look at you. She gave me a hug.I introduced Norma to Jaxon. Your father s in the backyard trying out his new clubs he got on eBay.Can I get yousomething cold to drink? I just made a fresh batch of strawberry lemonade.Or would youprefer beer? We both asked for the strawberry lemonade and wandered out to find Dad, who didn tseem to like his new clubs much.I was a bit surprised Norma hadn t said more about myweight, but I was even more shocked when my Dad looked me up and down and said, Didyou have surgery? No, Dad.I d like you to meet my friend, Jaxon. Hey, Jaxon. Dad shook his hand. I think I got ripped off. He and Jaxon got into adiscussion about the new golf clubs.My head began to spin.I thought Dad would be pleasedfor me.Then I realised he and his family always ate and loved that I ate with them.Iremembered too late that I d forgotten to bring the kids the dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts Ialways brought them.I d have to remember to eat like a pig tonight.www.total-e-bound.com FULL A.J.Llewellyn 132My cell phone rang.Jaxon had Dad laughing at the way he wielded a nine iron.He wasdeliberately clowning around and I realised two things in the same instant my dad feltawkward about my weight loss and Jaxon wanted him to feel better.Another thing was that Diego was calling.I answered. Oh, thank God, he said. I ve just been told I sounded like all kinds of a bastard whenI spoke to you. You were. A pause. I know.I m sorry. I wondered who d told him how awful he d been, but he plunged on. Sophia s here. She was his sous chef and had been my best friend until Diego and I broke up.It haddevastated me to lose her as well as him.Hearing her name again tore fresh edges to thewounds. We should talk, but not on the phone. Wow.He was nervous, I could tell. That would be great. He was silent for a moment. Thank you.Thanks for not hanging up on me.Listen, Iknow it s your golf day with your Dad How do you know that? Have you ever missed a game with him? Um& no. Right.So& let s meet tomorrow.For coffee.I have shopping to do in the morning.Igotta go to the fish market.And the flower market.Say, you wanna go with me? Just like theold days? Fuck& yes. I missed those times.I d adored seeing him in action, purchasing all thethings he required for his perfect, delectable creations. I ll pick you up at five, he said. Don t forget to let the old man win. * * * *For the next couple of hours, I alternated between feeling panicked about spending timewith Diego the following day& and experiencing crippling terror at the prospect.www.total-e-bound.com FULL A.J.Llewellyn 133My father, who had a bad day on his home-made links, cheered up when Norma cameout around three o clock with a laden tea tray bearing pound cake with fresh berries, a hugebowl of whipped cream and four steaming cups of coffee.He tossed aside his driver the way a little kid would discard a crappy toy and bolted forthe shaded porch.Jaxon and I joined them.As I took a seat, I gazed out to sea, just visiblefrom the property s boundaries.The water churned in a soft, foamy grey kind of how I feltinside.There was a tense moment when Norma offered me some cake. Yes, please. I saw her and my dad visibly relax.Dad s good humour was restored as we all piled onthe cream and fresh berries. Mmm, good, I told my stepmother, who beamed.What I loved about Norma was thatshe never tried to pretend Cyan and I didn t have another mother.In fact, my grief-strickenfather kept her ashes in an urn on his nightstand for years and they were now buried in theirgarden.I have always appreciated that Norma observes my mother s birthday and Mother sDay with freshly planted wildflowers.I once saw her leave a slice of fruitcake at Christmasby the site marked with wild orchids and a beautiful, flat rock with her name Marianneand the dates of her birth and death inscribed on it.I d thought it was sweet, but my father said it was a few too many glasses of Christmascheer. What s going on with your sister? Dad suddenly asked. I came into LA for a meetingwith Hugo yesterday and he was a mess. He came to LA and didn t call me? Why did he do that? I don t know, I said.In truth, as of that moment, I really didn t know. He says she s banging her trainer. Jaxon sprayed a mouthful of coffee over the table.I didn t worry.I knew my parentswould eat whatever was on there, anyway.I couldn t believe Hugo would tell my fathertheir secrets. You see, my father said, turning to Norma, some couples do have unorthodoxarrangements. Her cheeks flushed as she held her cup to her lips.Nice going, Dad.www.total-e-bound.com FULL A.J.Llewellyn 134We were saved from further conversation by the arrival of my half-brother and sister,who d just come home from school.They were bigger than ever.I gazed at Ricky, a boy Iadore& in moderation.He tended to be a whiny cry-baby and at the age of twelve alreadyweighed more than my father.His sister, Randy, reached right over me for the last piece ofcake.I stared at Ricky in shock.I could see the same expression in Jaxon s eyes, but he wassimply charming with the kids.I could tell Randy was moving in for a full-court swoon.Norma excused herself to get some more cake.I followed her into the kitchen, whereshe busied herself removing a fresh loaf of pound cake out of its aluminium packaging. I m sorry, she said. Your father is so sex-obsessed. Oh, God& not her, too.Why did everyone tell me their sex problems? Why did they thinkI was some expert when, hell s bells, it had been eight months since I d had any? He wants to have a threesome.Can you imagine? I shook my head.I tried to visualise it.It was beyond my fertile mind. He booked a hooker.Can you believe it? She banged the foil package hard on the counter and the rubbery contents bounced ontothe floor.We gazed at each other
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