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.By the time Muriel passed through with hermore generous form, the only thing to be seen or heard was the pounding hooves of aretreating unicorn.Too late.Wearily, she changed size and flew upstairs. I hate these no-sale days, Muriel told Elwood as she sat down on the bed next tohis prostrate form. I ll be up all night mixing a this-was-all-a-bad-dream-spell and it sall your fault. He sat up immediately. Why is it my fault? She was a virgin, you fool.You should have been gentle. Gentle? Gentle is not my cup-of-tea and how was I supposed to know that she wasa virgin? Well, I am the Patron Faerie of Virgins. He blinked once, he blinked twice and then he leapt off the bed as though herprofession might be contagious.His face, pale at the best of times, was whiter thanfreshly fallen snow. But Elton said you were a Tooth Faerie. That was over twenty years ago, Elwood.Don t you keep up? Before he could answer, there was a slight ripple in the air and Elton appeared.Hissudden appearance surprised her.What was he doing here? Had he followed toapologize? Her initial surprise was quickly followed by embarrassment.She glanced atElwood who was still as naked as the day he was born.How could she explain a nakedelf in the same room?No matter what she said, it was going to sound bad.And it looked bad enough already.She jumped up at the same time as Elwood guiltily covered his family jewels, withthe gifted underwear no less.She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again.What could she say? It snot what you re thinking? Yeah, that would really make things better.Elton, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem finding the right words. Either of you care to tell me what s going on? Or shall I make my own assumptions?38 Even Sex Faeries Get the BluesChapter ThreeGarald was waiting for Muriel when she flounced into her office on Monday. Good morning. She smiled and dumped her new Gucci bag onto the desk.No usemaking things worse by assuming a problem where none existed. That s not what I hear, the old wizard returned, frowning at her latest leatherasset. And I hope you re not going to take that thing into another dimension? If I had agosling for every complaint I have to fence about the illegal transfer of technologybetween the dimensions, I d be rich. Ah, Muriel said dramatically and flopped down on her chair.Elton hadn t lookedher up all weekend and she really didn t need hassle from her boss on top of everythingelse.Lack of sex was a very sad and potentially dangerous state of affairs for sex faeries.She d give Elton a week and then she d have to look around for a replacement.Hesurely couldn t expect her to go without.For some strange reason, that thought didn t make her happy.It was okay, though.She d get over it.Sex faeries always did.But in the meantime, she had a more pressing problem.One that was dressed inpastel blue with a silly hat on his head. I am permitted to take each and every itemwith me to the Ministry, she told Garald. That s the Lore.Otherwise it stays at home.And no, you can t borrow it. Garald raised one bushy eyebrow and clasped his hands around a knee as hecontinued to sit.An ominous silence followed.Eventually she conceded pride to diplomacy and cleared her throat. I guess youheard what happened at The Horse and Whip? Slapping a folder down on the desk in front of her, Garald glared at her through hisround spectacles.Not that he needed them, but it was an affectation he had assumedover the years.The Deities knew why. The Union of Unicorns made an officialcomplaint.One of their number was forced to carry a sullied girl. An unladylike expletive lay on the tip of Muriel s tongue, but she bit it back andcongratulated herself on her self-control.She needed coffee, she needed chocolate and,most of all, she needed Garald out of her office or something was going to give.Whogave a damn if the unicorns were upset? She was upset.Elton had left her!But she would get over it because she was a sex faerie. We know how unicorns are.The girl was a virgin, she had a right to be carried.That s the Lore. 39 Mary Hausen But to an assignation? Muriel, you cannot continue to stretch the regulations insuch a way.Unicorns are pure creatures and not to be sullied.That too is the Lore.It llbe a black mark on your reputation. Fine, Muriel replied rather halfheartedly. You can be happy that the unicorns didn t go over my head.I, at least, can arrangefor the paperwork to go missing. Fine. Is something wrong, Muriel? Muriel shook her head.She was not going to share her personal problems with awizard.She was especially not going to talk to him about sex.Elton would come back,and if he didn t, there were other fish in the pond.End of story.So why was she feeling so down? Where was her bounce? Why was she consumingso much chocolate ice-cream? All very good questions to which she had no answers. Then why is Viv still a virgin? Muriel pulled the girl s file halfheartedly out of her drawer, hoping to at least lookprofessional. I m working on it okay? Let s just say it s not quite an open and closedcase.The girl doesn t really want to be deflowered.She wants more.She s confused. And she wasn t the only one.This was an unusual case
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